#38 | The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

November 2, 2017
00:0000:00

Was the public really crying out for an Allan Quatermain movie in 2003? If so, they probably weren't banking on the incoherent mess that is The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a notorious box office bomb that effectively ended the careers of director Stephen Norrington and star Sean Connery.

This week on Beyond The Box Set, following a request from our pals at the Blokebusters podcast, we revisited The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and tried to figure out how a decent premise ended up going so very, very wrong.

Join us as we attempt to piece together the truly incomprehensible plot of this movie, before imagining what might have been with some course-correcting sequel and reboot ideas. Along the way we also discuss terrible dialogue, Sean Connery's complete lack of effort, heavy-handed literary allusions and much more...

If you're planning to reappraise this movie at some point in the future, we strongly recommend having a drink or three to hand. Fortunately we've also got you covered this episode with some The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen drinking games to ensure your critical functions are nice and dulled by the time the seventh consecutive pointless character introduction rolls around...

---------

Each week on Beyond The Box Set, we take a classic - or questionably classic - standalone movie and compete to pitch the most ridiculous sequel, prequel and spin-off ideas to bring them back to the big screen. So far we've covered everything from Heathers to Hocus Pocus, with plenty in-between.

If you enjoy the show, please hit subscribe to receive a new episode for free download every Friday morning. User reviews also really help us to get Beyond The Box Set into the ears of new listeners, so we'd really appreciate any iTunes stars you could throw our way...

Beyond The Box Set is available on virtually all major podcasting platforms including iTunes, Stitcher, aCast, Podbean, Overcast, Player FM and much more. You can also reach out to us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and on our official website...

beyondtheboxset.com

twitter.com/beyondtheboxset

facebook.com/beyondtheboxset

instagram.com/beyondtheboxset

00.00: Attempting to make sense of the nonsensical 

25.25: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Drinking Game 

30.00: Alternative Readings - The League of Extraordinary Wigs 

32.05: The Team of Brilliant Gents

49.35: Remedial Literary Studies

1.01.55 Listener Submissions + Episode 39 Preview

#30 | Me Before You 2: Hell on Wheels

September 7, 2017
00:0000:00

What woman doesn’t dream of falling for a paraplegic millionaire with six months to live? This week on Beyond The Box Set, we’re pitching sequels to ‘Me Before You’, the controversial 2016 hit based on the novel by JoJo Moyes, which we found to have some very strange messages about disability and assisted suicide.

Join us as we discuss how easily this movie could be re-edited to turn romantic lead Sam Claflin into the villain, why Emilia Clarke’s eyebrows deserve supporting cast credit and whether this is actually the whitest movie we’ve covered on our podcast so far…

As ever, the second half of our show involves us exploring our own fantasy sequel ideas for the movie, which this week include a second chance for Matthew ‘Neville Longbottom’ Lewis to win Louisa back and a Disney musical retelling inspired by our revelation that this film is basically Beauty & The Beast with fewer sympathetic characters.

Every week on Beyond The Box Set, we take a classic standalone movie and compete to come up with the most ridiculous sequels, prequels and spin-offs to bring them back to the big screen. You can find us on all major Podcasting platforms and most social media channels. If you like what we do, please hit subscribe for a new episode every Friday, and if you leave us a nice review on your preferred Podcast host, we’ll absolutely love you forever…

beyondtheboxset.com

twitter.com/beyondtheboxset

facebook.com/beyondtheboxset

instagram.com/beyondtheboxset

00:00 Intro – Just because he’s disabled, doesn’t mean he’s not a c*nt

23:25 Alternative Readings – Gaslighting: The Movie

25:00 Pitch One – You Before Me

39:00 Pitch Two – Me Before You 2: Hell on Wheels

53:05 Listener Submissions & Episode 31 Preview

#25 | Knights of Lego Badassdom

August 3, 2017
00:0000:00

Tyrion Lannister and Abed from Community in a comedy horror movie about Live Action Roleplay? Sounds like a recipe for hilarity. Sadly, the reality of obscure box office bomb Knights of Badassdom turns out to be rather different…

This week on Beyond The Box Set, we sat through 85 tortuous minutes of olde worlde accents, nonsensical plot exposition screamed out by wildly overacting TV stars and genuinely incompetent filmmaking – then attempt to justify a sequel.

Join us as we discuss – among other things – Peter Dinklage’s genuinely uncomfortable acting choices, Danny Pudi being given literally nothing to do in this movie and the bizarre plot mechanics of Summer Glau’s relationship with her dangerously disturbed cousin.

Despite the fact that this is very possibly the worst film we’ve ever covered – yes, even worse than the Super Mario Bros. movie – we do have some ideas for what the sequel might look like, including a Lego version with a much starrier cast and an origin story that attempts to explain how Peter Dinklage’s agent tricked him into appearing in this garbage movie in the first place…

beyondtheboxset.com

twitter.com/beyondtheboxset

facebook.com/beyondtheboxset

instagram.com/beyondtheboxset

00:00 Intro – Peter Dinklage seems troubled

18:35 Pitch One – Knights of Badassdom 2: Revenge of the Nordic Nerds

31:40 Pitch Two – Knights of Lego Badassdom

46:00 Listener Submissions & Episode 26 Preview

#20 | Cast Away 2: Wilsonism

June 30, 2017
00:0000:00

Is Tom Hanks a great actor, or do people just like him? John and Harry attempt to decipher the appeal of Hollywood’s favourite every-ham as we pitch sequels to Robert Zemeckis’ Oscar-nominated classic Cast Away. From the rise of a Scientology-style religion built around the cult of Wilson, to the return of Seth Rogen, James Franco and Jonah Hill in a stoner survival comedy set on a deserted island, we’re taking Cast Away so far off course, not even a CGI whale and a weirdly unflattering photo of Helen Hunt could bring it home…

If you enjoy our fantasy sequels for Cast Away, hit subscribe to ensure you never miss one of our episodes. Every week on Beyond The Box Set, we take a classic standalone movie and compete to pitch the most ridiculous sequel, prequel or spin-off idea to bring it back to the big screen. If you really like what we do, please consider leaving us a review. It’s great for our egos and it helps other people to find us.

beyondtheboxset.com

twitter.com/beyondtheboxset

facebook.com/beyondtheboxset

instagram.com/beyondtheboxset

00:00 Intro – A Volleyball with the voice of Tim Allen

17:15 Pitch One – Cast Away: Weed Island

29:50 Pitch Two – Cast Away 2: Wilsonism

45:00 Listener Submissions & Episode 21 Preview

 

#12 | Gravity 2: Down to Earth

May 4, 2017
00:0000:00

This week on Beyond the Box Set, pitching sequels to Alfonso Cuarón’s 2013 space epic Gravity proved to be tougher than expected. Join us as we discuss 3D vomit, intergalactic baseball and why Sandra Bullock is no match for Sigourney Weaver when it comes to tank top wearing space survivors…

beyondtheboxset.com

twitter.com/beyondtheboxset

facebook.com/beyondtheboxset

00:00 Intro – Harry needs to stop killing our friends

18:05 Pitch One – Gravity 2: The Lost World

29:55 Pitch Two – Gravity 2: Down to Earth

47:20 Episode 13 Preview

 

#3 | Super Mario Bros 2: The Quest for Peach

February 15, 2017
00:0000:00

A notorious box office bomb that couldn’t even get basic colour coordination right, this week on Beyond The Box Set we’re pitching sequel ideas for the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie.

It’s hard to come up with story ideas even half as demented as the utterly nonsensical plot of this movie, but whether it’s an all-star reboot featuring Scarface and Amy Poehler or a bleak direct sequel that opens at Mario’s funeral and ends in an animated bloodbath, we can definitely say we gave it our best shot…

beyondtheboxset.com
twitter.com/beyondtheboxset
facebook.com/beyondtheboxset

00:00 Intro
07:45 Pitch One – Super Mario Bros: The Quest for Peach
24:35 Pitch Two – Super Mario Bros: Boss Battle Squad
40:05 Episode Four Preview