#38 | The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

November 2, 2017
00:0000:00

Was the public really crying out for an Allan Quatermain movie in 2003? If so, they probably weren't banking on the incoherent mess that is The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a notorious box office bomb that effectively ended the careers of director Stephen Norrington and star Sean Connery.

This week on Beyond The Box Set, following a request from our pals at the Blokebusters podcast, we revisited The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and tried to figure out how a decent premise ended up going so very, very wrong.

Join us as we attempt to piece together the truly incomprehensible plot of this movie, before imagining what might have been with some course-correcting sequel and reboot ideas. Along the way we also discuss terrible dialogue, Sean Connery's complete lack of effort, heavy-handed literary allusions and much more...

If you're planning to reappraise this movie at some point in the future, we strongly recommend having a drink or three to hand. Fortunately we've also got you covered this episode with some The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen drinking games to ensure your critical functions are nice and dulled by the time the seventh consecutive pointless character introduction rolls around...

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Each week on Beyond The Box Set, we take a classic - or questionably classic - standalone movie and compete to pitch the most ridiculous sequel, prequel and spin-off ideas to bring them back to the big screen. So far we've covered everything from Heathers to Hocus Pocus, with plenty in-between.

If you enjoy the show, please hit subscribe to receive a new episode for free download every Friday morning. User reviews also really help us to get Beyond The Box Set into the ears of new listeners, so we'd really appreciate any iTunes stars you could throw our way...

Beyond The Box Set is available on virtually all major podcasting platforms including iTunes, Stitcher, aCast, Podbean, Overcast, Player FM and much more. You can also reach out to us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and on our official website...

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00.00: Attempting to make sense of the nonsensical 

25.25: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Drinking Game 

30.00: Alternative Readings - The League of Extraordinary Wigs 

32.05: The Team of Brilliant Gents

49.35: Remedial Literary Studies

1.01.55 Listener Submissions + Episode 39 Preview

#37 | The Witches 2: Mousetrap

October 26, 2017
00:0000:00

In the final instalment of our Halloween mini-season, Harry and John are joined by the velvet-voiced Paul Kelly to pitch sequels for Nicolas Roeg's genuinely terrifying adaptation of Roald Dahl's The Witches

Join us as we reminisce about the many, many ways this movie traumatised us as children - including gaslighting grandmas, Anjelica Huston's facial genitalia, truly horrifying special effects work and much more.

Once we've thoroughly relived our childhood nightmares, we also set about creating some brand new ones with our characteristically offbeat sequel suggestions for this classic alleged family film. This week's ideas include an Alien crossover, a John Wick-style neo noir following former rodent Luke's ongoing vendetta against the dark forces, and a sitcom inspired by the clearly terrible customer service on display at Rowan Atkinson's Hotel Excelsior...

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In every episode of Beyond The Box Set, we revisit a classic standalone movie and compete to pitch ridiculous sequel, prequel and spin-off ideas to bring them back to the big screen. It's movie podcasting with a hilariously creative twist! (We hope). 

If you like what we do, please hit subscribe on your preferred Podcasting platform for a new episode every Friday morning. You can find us on virtually every network, including iTunes, Stitcher, aCast, Podbean, Player FM, Overcast and Google Play. 

For questions, comments, recommendations and anything else you want to talk to us about, we're also available on most forms of social media, including Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram. Please feel free to say hi, we like to know that people are actually listening to these things...

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00.00: Your diabetic grandma can't hear you screaming

12.40: The Witches Drinking Game 

19.40: Alternative Readings - A terrifying early draft of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 

20.40: The Witches 2: It's a Witch-Eat-Witch World 

36.20: The Witches 2: Mousetrap

52.50: Fawlty Powers: An Occult Sitcom

1.04.05 Listener Submissions + Episode 38 Preview

#35 | The Witches of Eastwick 2: Wizards of Wakefield

October 12, 2017
00:0000:00

In the first part of our special Halloween-themed trilogy, Harry and John revisit one of the most deliciously camp horror-comedies of the 80s - The Witches of Eastwick. 

Starring Jack Nicholson as Satan and Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfieffer as a coven of impeccably styled single mothers, George "Mad Max" Miller's adaptation of the acclaimed John Updike novel is the supernatural smash hit that's been keeping drag queens in fabulous costumes and witty one-liners for the past thirty years. 

Join us as discuss perm symmetry, sexual lounging, church freakouts and much more. Along the way, we also come up with some positively sinful drinking games, and of course pitch our own fantasy sequels to this iconic movie, including a gender swapped remake with a twist, and a sequel that ushers in a new generation of bad-ass witches. 

Each week on Beyond The Box Set, we watch a classic standalone movie and get together to pitch ridiculous sequel, prequel and remake ideas to bring them back to the big screen. Our podcast is available on all major platforms, including iTunes, Stitcher, aCast, Podbean, Google Play and more. Hit subscribe on your preferred app to get a new episode direct to your inbox every Friday morning. 

Got a film you'd love to see us cover? Or maybe you have a sequel idea for a film we've already done? We love to hear from our listeners, so please reach out to us on all forms of social media. If you really like the show, please also consider leaving us an iTunes review - it really helps us to attract new listeners. 

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00.00: Total eclipse of the perm

15.40: The Witches of Eastwick Drinking Game 

25.45: Alternative Readings - Everyone's Hungry For The 'D'

26.45 The Witches of Eastwick: Wizards of Wakefield

40.30 The Witches of Eastwick 2: F*ck Men! 

52.00 Listener Submissions + Episode 36 Preview

#32 | A.I. Artificial Intelligence 2

September 21, 2017
00:0000:00

Haley Joel Osment achieved peak creepiness in this divisive sci-fi fairytale from the combined minds of Steven Spielberg and Stanley Kubrick. But how does A.I. Artificial Intelligence hold up in 2017?

Join us as we brave traumatic face-melting, shameless emotional manipulation and many, many false endings to bring you some truly ludicrous sequel ideas, including an Orange Is The New Black-style TV show populated entirely by undesirable robots, and the A.I//TED crossover that nobody was waiting for...

Along the way we also invent some drinking games to help make that 146 minute runtime go by a little faster, discuss all the ways in which this movie got the future kind of right, but kind of wrong at the same time, and raise some very important questions about Jude Law's hairline...

Every week on Beyond The Box Set, we take a classic standalone movie and compete to come up with the most ridiculous sequels, prequels and spin-offs to bring them back to the big screen. You can find us on all major Podcasting platforms and most social media channels. If you like what we do, please hit subscribe for a new episode every Friday, and if you're feeling extra generous, please consider leaving us a review on your podcatcher of choice...

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00.00: Who is this movie aimed at? 

08.40: A.I. Artificial Intelligence Drinking Game

22.50: Alternative Readings - The Day After The Day After Tomorrow

23.50 A.I. Artificial Intelligence 2: i-A.I. 

35.20 A.I. Artificial Intelligence: Orange Is The New Chrome

47.55 Listener Submissions + Episode 33 Preview

#30 | Me Before You 2: Hell on Wheels

September 7, 2017
00:0000:00

What woman doesn’t dream of falling for a paraplegic millionaire with six months to live? This week on Beyond The Box Set, we’re pitching sequels to ‘Me Before You’, the controversial 2016 hit based on the novel by JoJo Moyes, which we found to have some very strange messages about disability and assisted suicide.

Join us as we discuss how easily this movie could be re-edited to turn romantic lead Sam Claflin into the villain, why Emilia Clarke’s eyebrows deserve supporting cast credit and whether this is actually the whitest movie we’ve covered on our podcast so far…

As ever, the second half of our show involves us exploring our own fantasy sequel ideas for the movie, which this week include a second chance for Matthew ‘Neville Longbottom’ Lewis to win Louisa back and a Disney musical retelling inspired by our revelation that this film is basically Beauty & The Beast with fewer sympathetic characters.

Every week on Beyond The Box Set, we take a classic standalone movie and compete to come up with the most ridiculous sequels, prequels and spin-offs to bring them back to the big screen. You can find us on all major Podcasting platforms and most social media channels. If you like what we do, please hit subscribe for a new episode every Friday, and if you leave us a nice review on your preferred Podcast host, we’ll absolutely love you forever…

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00:00 Intro – Just because he’s disabled, doesn’t mean he’s not a c*nt

23:25 Alternative Readings – Gaslighting: The Movie

25:00 Pitch One – You Before Me

39:00 Pitch Two – Me Before You 2: Hell on Wheels

53:05 Listener Submissions & Episode 31 Preview

#28 | Interview With The Vampire 2: Fangs For The Royalties

August 24, 2017
00:0000:00

Before the Twilight franchise ruined vampire movies for everybody, two of Hollywood’s most iconic leading men signed on to play a bloodsucking duo with a relationship so dripping with homoeroticism, producers briefly considered adding Cher to the cast to butch things up a little…

This week on Beyond The Box Set, John and Harry revisit the campy/scary delight that is Neil Jordan’s Interview With The Vampire. Join us as we discuss Tom Cruise’s magnificent scenery chewing, appreciate little Kirsten Dunst’s fierce post-mortem ringlet game and struggle to identify exactly what the plot of this movie is.

After waxing nostalgic for a while, we move on with our fantasy sequel pitches, including a Dark Universe crossover that stretches Harry’s celebrity impersonation skills to the limit, and an origin story that attempts to answer why celebrated vampire novels always seem to be written by bored housewives with no previous writing experience…

Each week on Beyond The Box Set, we take a classic standalone movie and compete to pitch the most ridiculous sequels, prequels and spin-offs to bring them back to the big screen. If you enjoy our Interview With The Vampire episode, hit subscribe for a regular dose of ludicrous fan fiction, and leave us a nice review so other listeners can find us as well. I mean, you don’t have to, but we’d really appreciate it if you did…

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00:00 Intro – A SWOT Analysis of Vampirism

22:00 Pitch One – The Vampire: A Dark Universe Movie

42:10 Pitch Two – Interview With The Vampire 2: Fangs For The Royalties

53:00 Listener Submissions & Episode 29 Preview

#24 | The Talented Mr Ripley 2: Tom Ripley’s Disco Years

July 27, 2017
00:0000:00

Everybody should have one talent. Ours is coming up with questionable sequel ideas for classic movies. This week it’s the turn of Anthony Minghella’s fiendishly gripping 1999 psycho-sexual thriller The Talented Mr Ripley, featuring Matt Damon as a murderous bisexual con artist, Jude Law in speedos and Philip Seymour Hoffman being the most Phillip Seymour Hoffman he can be…

This week on Beyond The Box Set, we flash back to this star-studded 1999 thriller and pitch our spin-off ideas, including a Tom Ripley origin story and a sequel that catches up with him in the Disco Seventies. Along the way we also discuss Cate Blanchett’s role as the ultimate gap year girl from hell and reminisce about the days before Gwyneth Paltrow forgot how to act…

Every week on Beyond The Box Set, we take a classic standalone movie and compete to come up with the best, worst and most ridiculous sequel, prequel and spin-off concepts to bring them back to the big screen. If you enjoy our show, please hit the subscribe button and leave us a review. It really helps us to pick up new listeners.

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00:00 Intro – Is everybody bisexual in this movie?

19:00 Pitch One – The Talented Mr Thor

31:30 Pitch Two – The Talented Mr Ripley 2: The Disco Years

52:00 Listener Submissions & Episode 25 Preview

#22 | Scott Pilgrim vs. Addiction

July 14, 2017
00:0000:00

Does Edgar Wright have a woman problem? As his new movie Baby Driver lands in cinemas, John and Harry revisit Scott Pilgrim vs The World and are left with very mixed opinions about the Cornetto Trilogy director’s first American movie.

From Michael Cera’s leading man credentials to Brandon Routh’s highly questionable wig work, this movie left us with plenty to talk about – and that’s before we get to our fantasy sequel ideas, featuring a Western remake and a chilling drug-fuelled Trainspotting crossover.

Each week on Beyond The Box Set we take a classic standalone movie and compete to come up with the best, worst and weirdest sequel, prequel and spin-off concepts to bring them back to the big screen. If you like what you hear, please hit the subscribe button and give us a review. It feeds our fragile egos and helps new listeners to find the show.

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00:00 Intro – Michael Cera is hard to watch

18:50 Pitch One – Scott Pilgrim vs The West

37:00 Pitch Two – Scott Pilgrim vs Addiction

54:00 Listener Submissions & Episode 23 Preview

#17 | Gone Girl 2: Bitches Be Crazy!

June 8, 2017
00:0000:00

Incompetent police work, bizarre casting and death by vagina – David Fincher’s Gone Girl is a movie that makes some choices. This week on Beyond The Box Set, John and Harry wade through the plot holes to pitch sequels for one of the most insane thrillers of recent years. Join us for an unlikely riff on 1950s camp classic ‘The Bad Seed’, an Amazing Amy lifetime movie starring a steroid-pumped Elijah Wood, plus a horrifying act of fictional feline abuse that almost breaks up the podcast…

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00:00 Intro – Amazing Amy’s Killer Vagina

17:45 Pitch One – Gone Girl 2: Go Girl! 

34:50 Pitch Two – Gone Girl 2: Bitches Be Crazy!

55:50 Listener Submissions and Episode 18 Preview

 

#16 | Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

June 2, 2017
00:0000:00

It’s sing-a-long week on Beyond The Box Set, as Harry and John pitch unfilmable sequels to the charming – yet also deeply unsettling – musical classic Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Along the way we discuss Caractacus Potts’ questionable parenting abilities, whether long movies should still come with intermissions and exactly what kind of weird sex stuff Baron & Baroness Bomburst were supposed to be into…

From the return of the Child Catcher – now paired with a murderous Mary Poppins impersonator – to an origin story so bleak it’d have to be directed by Lars Von Trier, if you like your family movies served with a side of surreal black comedy, download our latest episode toot suite!

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00:00 Intro – This film is longer than you remember

16:50 Pitch One – Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 2: Return to Vulgaria

34:50 Pitch Two – A Shitty Shitty Romance

50:15 Listener Submissions and Episode 17 Preview